There's a comet orbiting Kim Kardashian's ass

According to the news, there was some big thing going on a few billion miles away with a comet and a probing or something, butt Kim Kardashian took off her clothes to get back to being famous and relevant again. She "broke the internet." I actually didn't see the full picture till everyone had had their fun with photoshop, but I can assure you I saw many of the mock-ups done by people trying to make fun of her. Under normal circumstances, I don't give much mind to it, but I enjoy the endless memes and "lulz" that come from such an occurrence.

What does bother me though, is that in all the marvel and wonder that went into landing a space probe on a comet, all I could really find was a large moon that used to give me reason to reach for some kleen-ex. I leave the rest of that image to your imagination.

I ask you to contemplate this; 10 years ago a probe was launched. This probe was to land on a comet that moves at roughly 40km a second. A SECOND. On the highway, at 110km per hour, you're barely going 0.03km a second. Yeah, this thing is moving over 1000 times faster than you at highway speeds, and how many times do you see people freak out moving at that pace while trying to make a lane change, let alone land on a freaking comet without becoming a cloud of debris.

The precision required to accomplish this using technology that is borderline ancient, it's 10 years old since we could not just upgrade its hardware while it was en route, is seemingly unimaginable to one such as I, and yet, all I can find is some worn out cheeks that have been photoshopped to Hell and back. As I hopped onto the internet that night to try to catch up on social media, it became evident that Kimmy's derriere had a greater impact on the internet than Philae did on the comet. What a heart break.

Rockstar games loves you(r money)

Rockstar Games has released a $1,000,000 incentive, in their online currency of course, to pre-order a game that was released a year ago. It is as simple as that. It sounded much better when I said it out loud...

I am not a gamer by any standard. I'm the cannon fodder you put on your team so the other team can waste ammo and hopefully distract other players enough to take heat off of you. That's all I'm really good for. But I enjoy it, so I do like playing video games. In fact, I've thoroughly enjoyed my time in GTA Online, running down innocent civilians and ruining vacation funds for convenience store clerks. I've even established a pretty cool character who has a wicked assortment of funny hats, stylish outfits, fast cars and haa a penchant for hookers and strippers. He's pretty cool.

But my irritation comes from the delayed promises of downloadable content, bait-and-switches with said DLC, hey I know the acronym so maybe I have some gamer cred, and how hard they've enjoyed making it for you to really establish yourself in this world. Now it's like  they're completely forgetting that I exist. It would seem that they are milking the relatively recent releases of the next-gen consoles to sell you a game you probably already bought. Sure, you can trade in your old console version, henceforth known as old 'n busted, for the new console version, which shall now be known as the new hotness.

I own old 'n busted and look forward to spending an evening soon where I can hop on and taunt 12 year olds who are up past their bedtimes, and whose parents haven't caved on buying them the next-gen console. It's a fun experience. But I won't bother buying up the new console just to play the game with the ability to go 1st person, though the clean million smackers seems awesome for making it rain at the virtual strip club. Rockstar already has my money from this version, trading it in doesn't affect their profits to my knowledge, but buying the new hotness would boost their income. Whoa. That's sneaky right there. Don't expect my money boys and girls, I don't plan on buying the new version and I like my old 'n busted console enough to keep hanging onto it for a while.

Lol, you're racist, somehow... Some way

I cannot begin to tell you how sick I am of the phrase "islamophobia." Honestly. You cannot sit and critique a religion, something that is the foundation of all criticism, or so Marx said. Let's set aside those who are bigoted and racially fearful, judging someone based on skin colour is accusing someone of false character because of the chemical pigmentation of their skin. That's a whole other bag of garbage to take out later.

But let's take a quick look at the overwhelming abuse of the word "islamophobia" or the label of "islamophobic" by folks like the brilliant, sarcasm, Ben Affleck. I am fully for criticizing bad ideas or problematic doctrines. In fact, the idea that someone's religious or superstitious beliefs go unquestioned is absolutely reprehensible to me as I feel it should be to all others. Coddling those who we disagree with without lending any genuine criticism is downright insulting and should be offensive to those being "protected" by societal equivalents of helicopter moms who insist that little Johnny or little Suzy cannot possibly be terrible children, even after they have lied, stolen or broken something, or left a pleasant pile of excrement on the floor.

To deny adults criticism of their bad ideas is a hand-holding that encourages bad behaviour and does not offer any push for the person to grow. To say that criticism of a religion is a hate-driven, racially divisive bit of discrimination should be offensive to any follower of Islam who seeks to see peace for their people in any land. Moderate Muslim Tarek Fatah should be a name that comes to mind to any of those seeking to find an internal and well thought out criticism of issues surrounding his culture and religious following.

I will also leave you with this, a quote by Salman Rushdie. Many years ago he wrote a book that took a concept from Islam and put it into a novel, a piece of fiction, and had an international call for his death within the Islamic community. That book was The Satanic Verses.